Oh McDonalds.... yeah .. Bleh !

The thing about being a catholic Goan in Pune, is that you dont always get the food you like. (more like never, actually). But most of the time the food is decent, and occasionaly bordering on good.
I guess my point is that you expect the cusine to be different. Thats fine. Its part and parcel of life to have to eat food you dont enjoy. So what I dont understand is how people will willingly and almost eagerly subject themselves to eating at McDonalds.

From the very first bite, its nothing but a most formidable asault of horrible bland food, that shares the combined consistency of a rubber chicken and fluid poo. And tastes the same too.
Mass produced, cattle fodder is what I call it (ironically since most of it is made from cattle ..well except in India that is).

Yet everyday there are hordes of people, whom you would assume are in possesion of a functional set of taste buds, queued up in and around that center of ghastly gourmet. What on earth would posses them to go there ? Worse.. (oh horror) at times, they go there to celebrate !!


Sadistic I would think it, if I were a taste bud, or stomach. (no matter what my friends may tell you, I am most certainly *not* a walking stomach. I just happen to have a nice sized appetite).

Back to the matter at hand..
So..the story goes like this ..some weeks back, I was in the middle of a fine weekend of very important lazing, when my room mates decided to haul me off to that foul polluter of the Indian palatte, the new MacDonalds at Aundh.

Of course I insisted the food would be [insert vile adjective of choice here] . But who listens to me.. So off we went.. and yess.. lo and behold .. the food was [insert vile adjective of unsual potency here].

Anyways I was of course my usual charming self and I took it upon my self to let fly some of this rant at those sorry buggers. The pictures we took on Joel's cell phone will vouch for sheer power of my words.

Hehe.. the chance to rant like that almost made up for the soggy burger and oily dishwater mayonnaise. Almost. Maybe if the price had been a little less.. I can honestly say that the only thing edible in that store overflowing with American style in-your-face branding was, a chicken tikka (or tikha if you're a purist .. sheesh !) type offering. Not suprisingly it was an India inspired, specific item. It had to be if it was edible.

John Ralston Saul had this to say of the Big Mac back in 1947

“A Big Mac - the communion wafer of consumption.”

I have a slight clarification and modification to make to that.

“A Big Mac - the communion wafer of tasteless masses fed fat with the scraps of American, retail and brand, marketing.”

Give me a good meal at Mughlai restaurant anyday, I tell you. Just listen to this line from their website :

McDonald's truly cares about you and your well-being. They devote so much time, resources and passion to improving and educating their customers about balanced, active lifestyles.

BAH ! ... codswallop. Here is a much better line actually.

What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!
-- Billy Connolly

I'm off to bed.. these McIdiots with their horrible McFood and McBranding is given me a stomach McAche.

Some sights from my romps through Pune...

Just another morning for these guys doing electric arc welding 30 feet above a busy junction where the road crosses over the rail tracks. Taken at 8.00 am near Sancheti Hospital Junction ...


In Pune its an absolutely , run-of-the-mill, not-worth-a-second-glance , old betty, common as sand, kind of sight; To see insanely stupid trafic.. and even stupider Rickshaw drivers..


And of course, the occasional suicidal traffic cop who in the middle of directing rush hour traffic on a 5 way junction decided to ... points will be awarded for guessing here ... Click the image below to really understand.


Sigh.. hazardous indeed and potentially catastrophic. In the words of Pete Seeger in that classic song I really like... (look it up on google if you have too)

Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Girls have picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?